I’m afraid that I might be developing former fatty syndrome even though I’m still kind of fat, and wasn’t exactly desperate when I was fat. It’s not the guys who ignored me before and pay attention now who bother me. It’s the ones who were, I guess, pretending to like me, who’ve abandonned me now that I’ve moved to a lower weight class.
If I was a bit paranoid, I would guess that this is happening because they no longer perceive me as desperate (even though I never was) and therfore not worth keeping around as a potential sperm dump. It’s not so much the weight loss as what the weight loss means.
In my case, it truly just means my metabolism has picked up, and all the years of self discipline are showing their natural result. I suppose what it means to mainstream types though, since they’re convinced that being fat only comes from gross levels of overeating, is that I’m moving farther out of their league, so I have to be punished for that…taken down a notch since I’m starting to look like someone who would normally reject them.
The ones who put themselves in the “break glass in case of emergency” category right away, I’m not so worried about. It was clear from the beginning that they viewed my being fat made me more attractive to them only because they each think they’re the only guy in the world who ever thought of shagging or dating someone “ugly” so they’d be treated as more valuable. What’s throwing me off here is the ones who should have known me better than that: the ones who’ve been in my house, seen at least a little of what I did to keep my agility, endurance, strength, and sanity during the fat years. They, of all people, should have understood that I was not just giving lipservice to, “What you see isn’t really me. When or if I recover, I’m going to look very different.”
Now that it’s actually happening, apparently some guys can’t handle it. It’s so bizarre because the guys who are not handling it well are the very ones I figured would welcome the change, as it should make me less embarassing to be seen with. Life is weird.
So it’s a good thing that I’m losing weight naturally, and for the sake of my health, and not for other people’s sake. During the fat years I wasn’t exercising for them, or watching what I ate for them, or keeping on top of my skin care regime for them, or drinking enough water for them, or any other part of my self care regime for them.
It seems you find out who really cares for you when you have problems, but you really find out who cares for you when you succeed.
Recently:
- The Countdown Begins
- More Truth Roissy Can’t Handle
- No Going Back
- Do Cyborgs Dream of Electric Meat?
- The 80′s Return
- Reasons Not to Screw Up
- The Edge of the Cliff
- Former Fatty Syndrome
- Damaged Goods vs. Classic
- First Audience and Student
Comments
This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 10th, 2009 at 3:58 pm and is filed under General Journaling, Healthy and Sane Living, My Love Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Kthulah,
Was a follower of some of your posts in the crass Roissy-sphere. I have a problem: Just got divorced and after doing the Dogg in JerkDogg enough, I’m dating seriously. I found a great chick but she:
1. lied about her age
2. she’s a former fatty who’s been putting up last minute resistance
She looks pretty good in clothes. But I notice when doing our heavy first date makeout in her car that she’s got some extra folds of skin-related fat stuff under whatever it was that she was wearing and it was giving her body image issues. It’s kind of gross. My ex was fat and I don’t want to go through it again. I think she did the weight loss surgery thing.
But I really like her though… and she looks good in clothes – about a 9. I’m a really handsome guy who can get 9′s so it’s really hard for me to handle what she probably looks like naked because try as i might, I got options. But i like her and I want to bone her without thinking about it. So is there like some shaping lingerie she could wear that would hide most of it? I like chicks in lingerie… so it could be a plus in a way.
Any ideas?
Well, as you’re probably finding out, good things don’t always come in perfect packages.
One thing you should understand and come to terms with though, is that it is NATURAL for men to be very visually oriented. Now, I’m going out on a limb here, but I have two brothers, a slammin’ dad, and great male friends. I know men are not shallow as they’re promoted as being. A man can love a butt ugly woman and not even notice that she’s ugly. If he’s in love, he’ll find what’s beautiful about her and hone in on those particular things and not just convince himself, but HONESTLY BELIEVE that she is the hottest woman in the world to him.
Since you’ve read me awhile, you probably know my situation with my husband. Even with no sex drive to speak of, the man still looks at me with those mooney eyes.
This is obviously some force in the male psyche that is somewhat connected to sexuality, but surpasses it.
Now in that context, you being a feeling male who has enough T and enough compassion to, like most men, be very well able to bond with an imperfect woman…are having an issue with a deflated fupa?
I don’t think your issue is really with the belly, especially since she’s lost weight. I think it’s with her personality.
Maybe her not letting you take the lead with the timing of the sex is bothering you, and your subconscious is just coming up with reasons to create a safe distance in case she breaks your heart.
You’ve done enough women to know that no woman is perfect. The vast majority of women just look good enough, and even hot women have some kind of defect that *could* be a dealbreaker if she was mean or less feminine. A mean skinny woman, for instance, looks to observers like a tranny. A mean fat woman looks like a linebacker.
Men may notice defects very easily, but they rarely become a real issue unless something else is going on.