Last night, Slick came to visit, and we talked. All my orifices are still intact, and some good constructive conversation was had.
His situation is totally different from the normal hoe trap experience. A few years ago, he basically got tired of Israeli women…western women in general, and took the Thai route. He went to Thailand, found someone who was nice enough, married her, and brought her back.
His mom wasn”t exactly thrilled about it, but he”s an independent thinker, so he didn”t exactly care. Problem is that even though she was nice enough, and they got along okay, something was missing. They got along well enough that they made an absolutely gorgeous baby eventually, but they”re still basically two nice people who happen to be married…not really close.
So the paperwork really isn”t the problem, and the woman isn”t really the problem. She stays out of his business, and enjoys the benefits of being a reasonably well off lawyer”s wife. The problem is that I don”t want to be a reasonably well off lawyer”s mistress.
Mistress is a hoe position, and it appears that both me and his wife are wifey types. So I couldn”t really go there in good conscience without her explicit permission, and I doubt she”ll give that, even though she doesn”t love him in the romantic sense. Just like anyone else who”s seen us together, she”ll sense the…the Something.
This Something isn”t really a specific thing between me and him. It”s a Something that Uber type people have in pairs. You put that kind of man next to that kind of woman, and there”s a Something…and it”s a scary, potentially dark thing.
People see it when Longstroke and I walk together even though we”re platonic, or when Shai and I are out together, and it was just blazing like the sun rolling down the street when Steven and I were together. It”s the same Something my parents have…like that saying Christians have that one can send a thousand angels to flight, but two can send ten thousand.
You don”t see it that often because not so many women have embraced that balance between their warrior and mother selves. When you see one who has, and she”s walking with her equally or even more psychologically butched partner, it”s Something.
So yeah, she”ll most likely panic unless she”s like us…but I don”t think she is. She complains way too much, and yet doesn”t do much about the things she complains about. If my guess is mistaken though, she”d be relieved.
Another problem is what”s the lesser of evils. I know what it”s like to be a non Jewish woman of color here. The best she could expect unless she meets another Slick (and there is no other, just like there”s no other Steven in all the U.S.) or perhaps a very open minded American guy, is to be treated like a hoe no matter what she does. For a wife type of woman, that can be devastating. I don”t suppose her prospects are much better in Thailand either.
So I couldn”t really blame her for wanting to hang onto an illusion. That illusion isn”t quite such a deception since Slick does care for her. The problem is that she could see me as a threat to the stability that allows her to get her physical needs met if she needs to, but still have someone who isn”t ashamed to be seen with her, and even is proud of her for being an intelligent, cool person, and the good mother of his child.
I could just play the pseudo hoe for awhile, but the feelings would be a problem. It would end the same way it ended the last time, and I don”t want to start something knowing it”ll end painfully.
So it”s nice to see him and talk to him again. I did miss him, and it”s nice to know that some of the judgements I made against him were misjudgements, so I don”t have to hate him anymore. I just can”t see getting involved with him except platonically, even though every cell in my body is crying for his neck between my teeth…gently. I survived last night, and that was difficult. He smelled sooooooooo good.
Recently:
- The Countdown Begins
- More Truth Roissy Can’t Handle
- No Going Back
- Do Cyborgs Dream of Electric Meat?
- The 80′s Return
- Reasons Not to Screw Up
- The Edge of the Cliff
- Former Fatty Syndrome
- Damaged Goods vs. Classic
- First Audience and Student
